


A Fish on Your Back

by Inkmage (Fallowsthorn)



Category: Tron - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, April Fools' Day, Circuit Sex, End of the World, First Time, It Makes Sense In Context, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, gone horribly right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-17 23:28:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallowsthorn/pseuds/Inkmage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Flynn hadn't told him about the prank.  Flynn had been an idiot, and Flynn had assumed that Tron wouldn't possibly run into Clu and tell him about it in the twenty-four hours it would probably take him to figure it out. Clu now thought the Grid was going to be derezzed, really, truly believed it, and he and Tron had vanished to who-knew-where, because Clu didn't have any functions outside of the Grid and was probably devastated.</p><p>Well, shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fish on Your Back

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this prompt on the Tron Kink Meme: http://tronkinkmeme.livejournal.com/4397.html?thread=3351341#t3351341
> 
> The title is a reference to an April Fool's tradition in France, or at least my friends' French class: kids make/are given cutouts of fish and try to tape them to each other's back without the "fool" noticing. The longer the fish stays on, the funnier it is. (Alternate titles that work just as well but are more angsty: _Out of Hand_ , or _Exist Without Function_.)For the record, I haven't the faintest clue why Kevin thought this would be a good idea.

Flynn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Tron glanced up at him from the horizontal screen of functions, programs, and already-delegated tasks, concerned. Flynn looked... tired. It was a User word, but it fit, Tron thought. He looked as if his uptime was in the tens of millicycles, instead of the 2.64 that Tron knew it was.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked the User. Perhaps they'd been working too long, and Flynn needed to recharge?  
  
Flynn, however, just shook his head, and then bowed it, staring at the lists. "It's useless," he said abruptly, and Tron jerked unintentionally. Flynn didn't notice, and continued as if Tron wasn't even there. "The Grid. This Grid. It wasn't made for any purpose, and programs aren't- They're not doing anything, and they aren't made for that. Programs are designed, they're coded, they have a definite purpose. Even you," Flynn added, finally looking at Tron. Tron swallowed, the beginnings of a knot of dread starting to form in his stomach.  
  
"'Even me,' what?" he asked. Flynn waved a hand at him, for no reason Tron could see.  
  
"You don't have a use, here. I'm not trying to be mean, or hurt you. It's just a fact. You're a security program. You're made to protect a system from an outside threat. But this Grid isn't connected to anything, not like ENCOM's was. Most of the programs here are like that - they just... exist. No reason, no tasks. At least, none that fit their functions. I mean, we have  _writing_  programs on here, for Chris'sake. Just word processors, but what are they going to do here?"  
  
Flynn stopped himself with and effort, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, looking back at Tron from where his gaze had wandered. "All of you would do more good on ENCOM's servers than you would here. I'm going to terminate the Grid. It should happen within the next few millicycles."  
  
Flynn said something more, but Tron couldn't hear him over the pounding of his circuit pulses in his ears. Everything would be gone. All of the work, all of the mapping, all of the planning, the tens of cycles he'd spent just familiarizing himself with this place, would be for nothing.  
  
The Grid would be gone.  
  
The Grid would be  _gone._  
  
"...you do that, please?" Flynn was saying. Tron shook his head to clear the spare code out of it and blinked at the User. "Sorry, what was that?"  
  
"I'm going to make a system-wide announcement about a millicycle before the changeover happens, so that programs will have long enough to choose whether or not to leave, but not long enough to decide they've grown attached and riot. Can you not say anything until then? I'm telling you now because... well, because I thought you should know."  
  
Tron nodded jerkily and pushed himself away from the table. "Um, Flynn? What will happen to the programs...." He paused, and then spat it out. "To the programs that don't want to leave?"  
  
Flynn looked regretful for a minute, and sad. "I'm sorry, Tron. The whole system's being disconnected.  
  
"They'll deresolve."  
  
Tron opened his mouth, then shut it after a few beats. "I'm gonna - go and - I need to-" he said awkwardly.  
  
Flynn nodded, and Tron fled.  
  
He wandered around corridors, first walking, then running full-pelt without any idea of where he was going, only that he needed to be out, and away, and  _not here_. He felt sick, like he was glitching badly, but he knew if he asked Flynn or Clu to check his code, it would be whole and without errors.  
  
He wasn't looking where he was going, so focused on the pounding of his feet in time with his circuits that he ran smack into Clu as he rounded a corner, knocking them both over and sending the screen Clu had with him clattering to the ground.  
  
"Tron," Clu growled, getting to his feet as Tron knelt on the floor and gulped down air. "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
"Flynn - he told me - the Grid - the programs weren't - it was going to-" Tron got out, before Clu hauled him upright none too gently and set him on his feet.  
  
"There. Breathe. Now. What did Flynn possibly tell you that has you running around the base like your processor is about to implode?" Clu said, clearly fed up and not in the mood to be patient.  
  
Tron took a deep breath and started talking. "Flynn said he's disconnecting the Grid."  
  
Clu stared at him like Tron had just said Flynn wasn't really a User. It was around this time that it occurred to Tron that Flynn might not, for some reason, have actually  _told_  Clu about his plans for the Grid. And that Tron had promised not to tell anyone. Oh. Oops. Well, Clu deserved to know. And he wouldn't tell anyone else, would he?  
  
"That's impossible," Clu stated, then reconsidered. "Well, not impossible, but certainly very unlikely. He just asked me not ten microcycles ago to organize-"  
  
Tron shook his head violently. "He said he was going to wait until just before the changeover to make an announcement. It's so programs can choose whether to go back to ENCOM or-" He stopped.  
  
Clu's gaze darted away, then back to Tron. "Or?"  
  
Tron swallowed hard. "...or be derezzed with the Grid."  
  
Clu's gaze turned dark, and he looked about as glitchy as Tron felt. "Damn him," he muttered, and Tron had no idea what that meant but he assumed it applied to Kevin Flynn. "Let's see what Flynn has to say to me about it."  
  
He made to storm off, but Tron caught his arm and turned him around, stopping him. "Don't ask him!" he begged. "I promised I wouldn't say anything, I only told you because I thought you knew! Please don't say anything!"  
  
Clu shook off Tron's hand, but nodded anyway, running his hand through his hair in a movement reminiscent of Flynn. "Did he say why?" Clu asked, frustrated.  
  
Tron nodded. "He said it was because the Grid had no real purpose. That the programs here didn't exist to do anything, and we'd do more good in ENCOM." He looked up at Clu, who suddenly looked much more stricken. "...He said the Grid - he said we were useless. I know it's the will of the Users where we are and what we do, but-"  
  
Clu opened his mouth and took a shaky breath, falling back until he was leaning against the wall. "Users," he whispered.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tron asked. He'd felt awful when he learned the news, but he hadn't been this bad... had he?  
  
Clu opened and shut his mouth a few times before replying. "Most of the programs here were brought in from ENCOM," he said slowly, sounding a little strangled. "You were, too."  
  
Tron nodded, confused as to what this had to do with anything.  
  
Clu shut his eyes. "I wasn't, remember? Flynn coded me - made me - just for the Grid. That's my only function, to create the perfect system." He opened his eyes and found Tron's gaze, held it. "I have nothing at ENCOM. I don't know anything about it. My functions - I'm an admin program, it's my purpose to know each and every single part of the system. What can I do at ENCOM?" His gaze slid down to the floor and rested on the forlorn screen, gone into standby.  
  
"Nothing," Tron answered softly. "You'll exist without function." The thought was a numbing one. Despite what Flynn said, Tron did a lot of work on the Grid under the guise of debugging it. A lot of it was actually derezzing gridbugs, but there was a lot of construction and other tasks that fit under his functions, if he didn't question it too closely. To have one's functions, one's purpose in life, be entirely superfluous?  
  
Tron, without thinking, imitated a motion he'd seen Flynn go through once or twice. From what Tron could figure, it was for comfort, and Clu looked like he needed it. The security program crossed the hallway and wrapped his arms around Clu, helped by the fact that Clu had slid down the wall about half a foot.  
  
Clu was never much one for physical contact, something that confused Flynn to no end, so Tron expected the hug to be shrugged off. Instead, Clu blinked, looked about to protest, and then just - stopped. He stared at the far wall, blinked again, and rested his head on Tron's shoulder without a word.  
  
They stayed like that for Tron didn't know how many microcycles, Clu eventually wrapping his arms around Tron's waist in return and straightening up. It was comforting, somehow, knowing there was another program who felt the same way you did and was there for you. They stood there, just idling, until Clu lifted his head and, hesitating only slightly, pressed his lips to Tron's.  
  
It was... nice. But also strange. Tron had a vague memory of Yori doing much the same thing, and explaining it later as one of the ways Users apparently showed affection. How she'd learned that, she refused to say, but Tron suspected it was much the same way Clu had, and it probably had something to do with Flynn. What he didn't know was  _why_.  
  
"What was that for?" Tron asked, although he kept his tone carefully to one of confusion and not accusation, trying not to hurt Clu's feelings.  
  
Clu, however, snorted. Clearly he wasn't that concerned with what Tron thought of him. That, or he was a good liar. Tron figured it was a little of both; neither of them had moved. "I'm not going with you to ENCOM," Clu explained matter-of-factly, and kept talking over Tron's immediate protest. "I'd be nothing but a waste of server space. I have about three millicycles to feel important in a system - any system, and I may as well spend it with you."  
  
Tron eyed Clu. He was fairly sure he knew what the other program was talking about, but if he was wrong, it could end very awkwardly.  
  
Clu rolled his eyes and did the same thing - Tron thought it was called "kissing," but he wasn't sure. Clu kissed the circuits on Tron's shoulder, but open-mouthed, making his meaning  _very_  clear.  
  
Tron grinned at Clu and brushed his hands over the circuits on Clu's back before breaking away and running down the hall, this time playfully. "Come on, let's go to the Outlands!" he called back, grabbing two light batons from a wall brackets as Clu gave chase.  
  
Still on the floor, the forgotten screen beeped sadly, and then turned itself off to save power.

* * *

Flynn leaned over the screen, making minor adjustments to the diagram and chuckling every once in a while as he remembered the look on Tron's face, and the look that would likely be there when he revealed the joke. It had been a little mean-spirited, sure, but he would welcome any revenge from Tron, and he'd made sure the prank wouldn't cause widespread panic. Tron was trustworthy enough that he wouldn't go gossiping. Actually, he'd probably figure it out on his own, once he stopped to think. There were too many holes in the story, not least of all the "You don't do anything" line Flynn had given Tron. He knew what Tron did for the Grid, online or off.

A set of footsteps clattered up to the door, slowed as they reached the archway, and Flynn looked up with a grin, expecting to see Tron wearing a rueful or angry expression.  
  
Instead, he got Jarvis, the secretary program/laser operator Flynn had coded when Yori refused to leave ENCOM. Jarvis looked anxious, almost frightened under his visor. Flynn straightened up, closing the window with the diagram.  
  
"What's up, Jarvis?"  
  
Jarvis caught his breath before speaking. He'd been running, although from where, Flynn didn't know. "Sir, there's a gridbug attack in Sector 40, and they've left damage in Sectors 38 and 39."  
  
Flynn raised an eyebrow. "So? I know they cause a lot of damage, but that sounds pretty routine for a gridbug attack. Get Tron out there, or Clu."  
  
Jarvis shook his head, still breathing heavily. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, sir," he said. "They're both gone. I checked the Sector log-in and they've been gone for almost fifty microcycles. I checked 38, 39, and 40, too," he added, dashing Flynn's hopes that they were already handling the attack.  
  
"'Kay, get the Guard out there, they're better than nothing even without admin privileges. I'll come out there and take a look later. Don't worry about Clu and Tron."  
  
Jarvis nodded and left, presumably to rouse a few of the Guard and enlist their help.  
  
Flynn frowned in thought. Tron, he might have expected to be gone. After all, he seriously thought the Grid was going to be razed. Still, it didn't seem like him to abandon his functions, especially if he knew about the 'bug attack. And the last Flynn knew, Clu was working on organizing the Guard into more regular patrols than just "whenever we feel like it." What reason did he have to be-  
  
Oh,  _shit_.  
  
Flynn hadn't told him about the prank. Flynn had been an idiot, and Flynn had assumed that Tron wouldn't possibly run into Clu and tell him about it in the twenty-four hours it would probably take him to figure it out.  _Clu_  now thought the Grid was going to be derezzed, really, truly believed it, and he and Tron had vanished to who-knew-where, because Clu didn't have any functions outside of the Grid and was probably devastated. Stupid, stupid, stupid.  
  
Well, shit.  
  
Flynn walked over to the wall monitor and banged his head against it a couple times before opening the server window that only he, Tron, and Clu could access that told him where each program on the Grid was. He scrolled down until he saw  _Designation: TRON JA 307020_  and _Designation: C.L.U._ , and discovered they were in the Outlands, in the sector that held what Flynn called his secret fort and everyone else called the White House, much to Flynn's amusement. He'd stopped laughing when he realized no one would get it, and when he'd explained the reference, they'd all thought it was very fitting and had cemented the name. He'd given up after that.  
  
Well, the House, whatever it was called, was known for being a peaceful place, and Flynn knew it to be one of both Tron and Clu's favorite places on the Grid. Come to that, it was his, as well. Made sense that they'd want to say goodbye to it.  
  
Flynn stared at the screen for a second, then figured the easiest, and probably best, course of action would be to just get there quickly, before either program did anything stupid and/or life-threatening, and spill the beans. It would likely result in yelling, and even more likely revenge, but it was still the best idea, short of erasing the past hour or so.  
  
He grabbed a light baton from one of the side tables and marched out of the door, leaving a quick typed note on the screen explaining where he'd gone and not to follow him, he'd be back soon.  
  
The lightcycle ride to the White House seemed to take a much shorter time than it did normally, helped along by the fact that Kevin was trying to compose his explanation in his head as he went. Several times, he had to yank the cycle away from rock formations, and resolved to pay attention to where he was going for the rest of the drive.  
  
When he pulled up in front of the House, the exterior was dark. He could see flickers of light from deeper inside, though, so he assumed they'd simply been in there long enough that the motion-sensor lights had turned off.  
  
Flynn had to round a few corners and check a few dark and empty rooms to find the two programs, and when he looked back, he could see a trail of light created by the squares he'd stepped on. His own personal light ribbon. But someone, whether Clu, Tron, or someone else entirely - most programs knew about the House, if not where it was - had turned off the automatic lights, leaving Flynn to wander around in the dark.  
  
He walked a few more paces and heard a faint moan from down the hall. That was... weird. A few more yards and he could make out the words - and who was speaking.  
  
"Yes, yes yes yes, yes - a-ah!" That was Tron. Flynn raised one eyebrow in confusion and slowed his steps. That was beyond weird.  
  
"What are you, a bit? Oh, do  _that_  again, whatever it was." And that was Clu, voice, rough. You know, if Flynn didn't know better, he'd think they were-  
  
Tron's voice cut that thought off before it could end. "Shut up and fuck me already."  
  
What.  
  
Flynn was so stunned, he barely registered Clu's, "Gladly." They were...  _Tron_  and  _Clu_  were....  
  
Also, where had Tron learned the word "fuck"? Well, probably from Flynn, now that he thought about it.  
  
Flynn stopped in the doorway of the room Tron and Clu were in and blinked in mute shock and fascination as Clu, straddling Tron's hips, ground into him and sucked at the T on Tron's chest. Tron shouted and came, bucking up into Clu and dragging his hands down Clu's back. Clu arched his spine and came as well, a faint smell of static and ozone diffusing in the air. He collapsed to Tron's side, laying out flat on the floor.  
  
"Best way to spend the last three millicycles of my life," Clu said. He sounded exhausted, but happy, and Tron huffed out a laugh.  
  
Oh yeah. Tron had told Clu. Flynn's brain decided to inform his mouth that leaving it open was a good way to catch gridbugs, and he shut it with a click.  
  
Both Tron and Clu looked up, tense and expecting a threat, then relaxed when they saw it was Flynn. Clu propped himself up on his elbow and waved lazily. "Hey, Flynn! Wanna join in?"  
  
Tron smacked Clu upside the head. Clu dodged and looked at him, faking hurt. "What? You don't think he looks nice? I think he looks nice."  
  
"He looks like you, idiot," Tron informed Clu.  
  
"Exactly!" Clu grinned.  
  
Tron braced himself on his elbows and looked between the program and the User. "On the other hand... he looks like you," he murmured, this time sultry and suggestive.  
  
Flynn woke up enough to splutter, "No! I - I'm not having sex with you!"  
  
Both programs had the gall to look disappointed. "Aw, come on, Flynn," Clu wheedled. "No one'll know! Besides, it's end-of-the-world sex, why not?"  
  
Flynn sighed. "Well, no, it's not," he said awkwardly. This, predictably, produced confusion. He kept going. "There's a User tradition on the first of April - the three millicycles of one of our... cycles is I guess the closest thing, but it's a twelfth of that - anyway, the tradition is that you try to get your friend to believe the most outrageous things you can tell them, and if they believe it, then... then you get to say 'April Fool's!' to tell them you're joking and whatever you said isn't true. We call it April Fool's Day."  
  
This was met with silence and open-mouthed stares. Flynn distantly mused that that was probably what he'd looked like when he'd walked in the door.  
  
Tron was the first to regain his senses. "So... the Grid's fine? You're not going to do anything?"  
  
Flynn shook his head ruefully. "I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to try pranking you, especially because you had no way of knowing the tradition. Clu, I honestly didn't expect Tron to run into you and tell you everything. I knew it - there was-" He stopped and sighed again. "I shouldn't have done it, even though I had no idea it would lead to...." He gestured to Clu and Tron, now sitting up and facing him. "To this."  
  
Tron tilted his head to the side. "This tradition extends for the next three millicycles, correct?"  
  
Flynn nodded. "Yeah. Well, that or the next seventh of a cycle, depending on whether you count in Grid time or User time."  
  
Tron nodded, looking thoughtful.  
  
There was silence for a few seconds, while Flynn looked around the room, spotting both programs' discs a few feet away on the floor, and he did  _not_  want to think about why they'd taken them off-  
  
Clu coughed awkwardly. "Um, Flynn?" he ventured, suddenly looking like he'd rather not say whatever he was about to anyway. "It's, um. That is, well. There's-"  
  
"What Clu is trying to say," Tron interjected, rescuing him, "is that we've been in a steady relationship for the last several cycles."  
  
Flynn looked at them both skeptically. Clu hid his face against Tron's shoulder in embarrassment, but Tron kept looking at Flynn steadily, with a completely straight face, minus the awkwardness. Flynn coughed the same way Clu had. "Well," he said. "I suppose if you're happy and...."  
  
Tron's lips twitched and he started smirking. Flynn stopped talking and narrowed his eyes, finally noticing that Clu was hiding his face in laughter, not embarrassment. At Tron's quiet, "April Fool's," he stopped biting his tongue and fell on his side, howling.  
  
Flynn rolled his eyes, but smiled at the joke at his expense. It was the least he could do, really, after the prank he'd pulled on Tron. "So this was just a one-time thing, then?" he asked, meaning Tron and Clu.  
  
Clu nodded, still laughing at intervals, and Tron repeated the action, adding a "Yeah," to the end of it.  
  
"Okay," Flynn said, before this could get any weirder than it already was. "Listen, the reason I came to get you two was actually because there was a gridbug attack recently, and Jarvis wanted help. I sent him out with some of the Guard, but I need to go patch up those sectors, so I'll meet you two back at the base, 'kay?"  
  
Both programs assented, and watched Flynn leave, lighting up the white squares that had faded in his absence.  
  
Clu sat back up and rested his chin on Tron's shoulder. "So, what are we actually pranking him with?" he asked.  
  
Tron turned his head to the side and grinned. "Well, I figure letting him realize on his own that is wasn't a 'one-time thing' is a start, don't you?"  
  
Clu grinned back, keen and predatory. "I like that idea. And are we-" He nipped at Tron's neck circuits, causing the other program to shiver. "-going with the 'seventh of a cycle' interpretation of this 'day'?"  
  
"Definitely," Tron breathed, and turned around to gain the advantage over Clu. "And this time,  _you're_  the one who'll be sounding like a bit."  
  
"Ooh, I can live with that."


End file.
